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Joke of the Day

"What would the punishment be for smoking a joint in the times of Jesus Christ? You would get stoned. And then get rocks thrown at you."

"My grandpa was 1/5th of the way through his 58th mathematics degree when he died... He was pretty rad."

"Why do cows huddle together when it rains? To keep each udder dry Courtesy of my significant other"

"What did the vacuum cleaner salesman say to his colleague? Hoover fuck said this job would be a good idea?"

"You ever seen a really beautiful woman that you wanna go talk to? But then you think she's gonna freak out when you walk out of her closet?"

"My child's first name Is going to be look"

"What do you get when you stick your hand in a blender? a handshake"

"TIL that in 1940 a German U-Boat captain found himself aboard a British vessel. Whoops, wrong sub."

"Why doesn't the sun pack it's bags? Because it's traveling light!"

"Is it wrong to hate a certain race? Because I'm not really a fan of the Indy 500"