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Joke of the Day
"What is the scientific name for a crippled tyrannosaurus rex ? Tywalkasoreus Rex"
Next Joke
"How do you quadruple the capacity of a gay bar? Turn all the stools upside down. (Not trying to offend anyone, just a raunchy joke I heard from my GFs dad)"
"*gives you the finger*gives you the spleen*gives you the bones*gives you all the other parts* Now build me a girlfriend like you promised."
"FITNESS TIP: Set a regular gym schedule that's easy to keep up with. For example, I work out once every 4 years after I vote for president."
"Having to share a room with your spouse is absolute nonsense. Even kids get their own rooms..."
"[two coworkers walk into my office] Coworkers: Hey! It's your two favorite people here to ask you a question! Me: Where?"
"You ever wonder why Sewage workers are so depressed? They're always down in the dumps"
"What is the fastest speed a woman can go ? 68, because when she turns 69 she blows a rod."
"My dog always walked backwards... So I named him god."
"*buys shed at B&Q* B&Q: Are you putting this up yourself? Me: No, it's going in the garden. B&Q: Me: B&Q: I can't help you anymore."