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Joke of the Day

"[two coworkers walk into my office] Coworkers: Hey! It's your two favorite people here to ask you a question! Me: Where?"

"*sees Arnold Schwarzenegger working at Walmart* ""hey Arnold, kitchen appliances are toward the back of aisle B right?"" ""YES. AISLE B, BACK"""

"If I had a dollar every time trump said something stupid, I'd have a small loan of a million dollars"

"Why did Trump refuse the debate with Bernie? Because chickens tend to run from people with a last name of Sanders."

"If you feel unsure about a new haircut, ask a man if it looks okay. But ask him many, many, many times. Never be satisfied with his answer."

"I wonder what my future wife is doing right now.. Hopefully modeling."

"My parents took away my mood ring . . . . . . I don't know how I feel about it."

"My love for you is like diarrhea, I just cant hold it in!"

"I've finally found something my girlfriend's bum doesn't look big in... ... The distance"

"How many Harvard graduates does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. He holds up the light bulb, and the world revolves around him *I'll see myself out*"