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Joke of the Day

"No Linda, I CAN'T believe how early it's getting dark. After 4 billion years of this happening I was sure this would be the year it didn't."

"{Text} Me: Come home soon baby, I'm dressed like Leia.. Him: So turned on, I am.. Me: If you show up dressed like Yoda it's not happening"

"There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator Only a fraction of you will find this funny"

"i always carry a condom in my wallet incase i can't finish my corndog"

"I was roasting meat and accidentally stabbed myself with a meat thermometer and blood is gushing out. I'm done."

"My older sister constantly and incorrectly uses the word ""ironic"" to describe situations in her life. It's pretty ironic."

"I asked my girlfriend why she always laughs after sex She says, it's an inside joke."

"Been really trying to see things from my wife's point of view lately... Been looking out this kitchen window for hours..."

"A Limbo dancer married a Locksmith yesterday... ...the wedding was low key."

"Love you in different language English..... I Love You Spanish..... Te Amo French...... Je T'aime German...... Ich Liebe Dich Redneck..... Nice Tits"