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Joke of the Day

"What did Drake say to 2Chainz as he was leaving da club? Challah at ya boy!"

"Autocorrect just changed ""what are your plans"" to ""plants"". Yes autocorrect, I'm curious if they're growing roses or sunflowers?"

"The dentist said to his patient, ""This is going to hurt a little."" The patient replied, ""It's ok doc, I'm ready."" The dentist went on, ""I've been having an affair with your wife for a while now."""

"Internet porn? When I grew up... ...it was hard to come by."

"A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants... The bartender looks over and says, ""Get the fuck out of my bar, we're sick of hearing this goddamn joke."""

"Does the defense have any last words? ""Yes I do your honor... THE FLOOR IS MADE OF LAVA"" [Judge & jury scramble to get on top of tables]"

"What is the one thing you don't give to a Jewish kindergartner? A gold star."

"Keep your friends close and your enemies in the trunk of your car."

"Have you heard the joke about a rice cake who raped a bunch of tofu? I thought it was pretty tasteless."

"If you cannot afford a stenographer, a 4 year old will be appointed for you to repeat exactly what you said at all times. Do you understand?"