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Joke of the Day

"Autocorrect just changed ""what are your plans"" to ""plants"". Yes autocorrect, I'm curious if they're growing roses or sunflowers?"

"Have you ever listened to someone talk for a while and started to wonder ""who ties your shoelaces for you?"""

"Guess why they call me Thunder Penis? Because you can't see it"

"Once I was travelling in a taxi, the taxi driver said: ""I am very happy with this job. I am my own boss and nobody can order me what to do."" Then I said: ""Take left."""

"What do you call a psychic on /b/? A 4Chan-Teller"

"Damn girl, are you misplaced silverware? Because why aren't you in the kitchen?"

"What are Canadians favorite board game? Sorry"

"I only have a beard so I can scratch it while I judge."

"Teacher: Whoever answers my next question, can go home. One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: who just threw that?! Boy: Me! I'm going home now."

"I hate it when I remove myself from around people to fart in peace and they follow me right after I have release a big one."