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Joke of the Day

"Does the defense have any last words? ""Yes I do your honor... THE FLOOR IS MADE OF LAVA"" [Judge & jury scramble to get on top of tables]"

"Just met John & Jane Doe and their lovely children Play, Tornay, Potay and Alfred."

"Hillary Clinton's recent case of pneumonia just goes to show There's only one candidate who can dodge a draft."

"I needed a password 8 characters long .. .. so I used Snow White and the Seven Dwarves"

"If you give me a hard time about being out of shape I will bury you in a shallow grave. A very, very, shallow grave"

"Met a prostitute that will do anything for 100 $ Guess who's writing my take home exam ^^"

"As ice water runs down my face I conclude, ""Boy, you sure like to eat bread!"" is not a comment a lady on a dinner date enjoys hearing."

"I renamed my dad ""Death"" in my phone's contacts. Just so I remember that life can always get worse."

"I want to believe in hope as much as someone who thinks that somebody might buy their old used shoes on Craigslist for $20."

"Jesus wrote a play about a tornado. It was an Act of God."