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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend broke up with me because I play too many video games. Seems like something pretty stupid to Fallout for."

"According to the manual, I can have an extra ten Weight Watchers Points if I start breast feeding."

"One of the most romantic things a rose can do for another rose is leave a trail of human body parts from the front door to the bedroom."

"My run today was like my last date. Short, slow, and frigid."

"So this hot blonde walks up to the bartender and asks for a double entendre So he gives it to her"

"""Annie are you ok?"" -yep ""Are you ok?"" -dude, I just said yes ""Are you ok Annie?"" -THIS IS WHY YOU DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS MICHAEL"

"Why'd Sally fall off the swings? Cause she's got no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally."

"Pilot episode You know how you can tell if a shows going to be any good based on the pilot, since it sets the tempo for the entire show? I just realized that my dad didn't like the pilot of my life..."

"A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar... He orders a drink."

"If I ever need an amber lamps really quickly... I'm going to call a tow truck instead."