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Joke of the Day

"Clubbing I never have a good time going out to clubs. I can't seem to hit on any girls. All my friends pay to get in and hopefully leave with a one night stand. I pay to stand for one night."

"What do you call a communist video streaming service? Niet-flix."

"What would you call The Flinstones if they were black? Niggers"

"How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep? You rocket"

"""I totally nailed that guy"" - Roman soldiers"

"I was at a restaurant and my waitress had a black eye... So I ordered really slow, because she obviously doesn't listen"

"Maslow's theory of higher needs does not apply to Chuck Norris. He only has two needs: killing people and finding people to kill."

"There are two boats (tankers) about to collide at sea. One is filled with purple paint, the other with red paint. They collide... All the survivors were marooned."

"My wife found a spot between her boobs this morning. The doctor eased her worries telling her it was just her belly button"

"Bought a thesaurus at the store and brought it home to find all the pages blank I have no words to describe how angry I am."