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Joke of the Day

"Author: So, I've got this children's book. It's about a hungry caterpillar. Agent: Pass Author: A VERY hungry caterpillar. Agent: Go on..."

"Shouting ""put your hands in the air like you just don't care!"" is a fun way to bring a party atmosphere to a bank robbery."

"Coworker: My husband's an angel. Me: You're lucky.. mine's still alive."

"ZERSETZUNG funny because America is not east germany? not even mad. grateful for unexpected opportunity to defend constitution."

"Will Glass Coffins Be A Success? Remains to be seen."

"[oval office] SECRETARY: (shrieks) there's a dead rat on my desk! PRESIDENT WHO IS A CAT: wow someone must really like you *winks*"

"How did the detective know the Necrophile Killer was a hipster? He fucked his victims before they were cool."

"To the woman that told her husband to ""bite my ballsack"" at the store today,I golf clapped because you won life."

"I told a riddle to a double amputee once Boy did it leave him stumped"

"Whenever a girl is talking too much, remind yourself that other thing she does with her mouth that you like so much. Might dull the pain ;)"