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Joke of the Day

"What Happened when the girl sat on Lance Armstrong's lap? She had a ball"

"Fear does not exist in this dojo, does it? NO, SENSEI! Gluten sensitivity does not exist in this dojo,does it? Put your hand down Aiyden"

"Avoid confrontations in the work place by slashing your coworker's tires while they sleep."

"Did you know semen leaves the body at almost thirty miles per hour? This means it's illegal to ejaculate in a school zone. I don't think the speed was why I was arrested though."

"accidentally called the guy at the oil change place ""mom"""

"Visiting grandma (nsfw) Mommy, mommy, I don't want to visit grandma today! ""Shut up and keep digging, boy."""

"Pro tip: If a woman asks you how she looks, the correct answer is not ""like Dan Aykroyd."""

"How many Mexicans does it take to pave a driveway? Six, if you slice them thin enough."

"Pirate walks into a bar... Bartender says, ""Is that a napkin on your head?"" Pirate replies "" No, it be a bounty""."

"""Doctor"" said the patient ""I need help! I can't stop acting like a cat!"" ""How long have you had this problem?"" the doctor asked. ""Lest's see"" said the patient ""Mom had the litter in '41"