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Joke of the Day

"I gave self deprecating humor a go once... ...I was terrible at it."

"An elderly Asian man goes to the eye doctor The doctor takes one look at his eyes and says ""Sir, I think you have cataracts"". To which his patient replies ""No i don't, i drive a rincoln rontinental""."

"What do you call an albino gorilla? Honkey Kong"

"Did you hear about the gay midget? he just came out of the cabinet."

"Who granted the fish's wish? Fairy codmother"

"I just saw some pictures of Ray Rice's wife for the first time... she's a real knock out."

"If you woke up in the woods with your pants around your ankles and vaselene all over your ass, would you tell anyone? Wanna go camping this weekend?"

"Did you hear about the guy who fell into a waterhole? Well, it's a deep subject."

"Two Men are stranded on a Boat with three cigarettes but no matches. One man cleverly throws a cigarette overboard and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter."

"My one true love cooks for me, cleans for me, has never talked back, does what I tell her to do, I can have my way with her any time I want, and she ALWAYS satisfies me. But enough about my hand."