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Joke of the Day

"Some guy who wasn't looking where he was going hit me with a stick today So I beat the shit out of him. And for good measure kicked his Labrador too."

"Young Forever Nutritionists say people who eat less tend to be younger in appearance. It is true. One of my friends hadn't eaten for 10 days, he's forever 25 years old now."

"I swear that I'm not addicted to cocaine... ...I just like the way it smells."

"What did the bishop say to the priest? It's my turn."

"I went to the zoo the other day There was only a single animal, it was a dog. It was a shih tzu..."

"What do you call a fire pokemon mixed with Donald Trump ? A Charitard."

"Micheal J. Fox made a Twitch account. He doesn't play games, he just sits there."

"I want to make a joke about Mexicans... ... but I don't want to cross the border."

"Why is six afraid of seven? because seven is a registered six offender."

"[on a plane] Stewardess: ""Would you like a mint? It'll help your ears during takeoff"" Me: ""Sure, can I have two?"" *puts one in each ear*"