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Joke of the Day
"Do you know how I feel about muscle relaxers? I valium."
Next Joke
"FRIEND: do u want to hang out this weekend ME: generic excuse FRIEND: did u just say ""generic excuse"""
"I think I have an infallibility complex I've never been wrong before."
"I buy my guns from a man named ""T-Rex"" He's a small arms dealer"
"""Why are all the good ones either married, gay or the Son of God?"" - Mary Magdalene."
"A man goes to a library and asks for a book on Suicide The Librarian says: Fuck off, You wont bring it back."
"The teacher asked Johnny, ""Why is your cat at school today Johnny?"" Johnny replied crying, ""Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that pussy once Johnny leaves for school today!'"""
"Handsome Stranger: Excuse me, but you're.. Me: Gorgeous & you've been mustering up the courage to speak to me? HS: ..blocking the pickles."
"son ur mom told me u & ur gf broke up today? *puts hand on sons shoulder* if u had bought a pet falcon like i told u she woulda never left u"
"Islamist Humor Planes blowin' up On a Tuesday"