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Joke of the Day

"The greatest trick the devil ever played was offering a buy one get one free sale one day after you already purchased two at regular price."

"Why are pirates good at singing? They have great hARRRmony. I'm sorry."

"Me: This chicken is undercooked. Wife: You don't appreciate my cooking. Me: I think the vet could save it if it we took it right now."

"Alsation: I'll see you shortly. Chihuahua: Okay but don't call me ""Shortly!"""

"A baby horse is found injured. The cause of the injury is unknown, but foal play is suspected."

"How can complex numbers be real if i's not real?"

"If your rice accidentally gets wet, you can dry it out overnight by placing it in a bowl of cellphones."

"I got my dog from an orphanage like, two years ago. Those orphans STILL hold a grudge."

"How many monastic women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None... they live an ascetic lifestyle and prefer to not use electricity."

"What do Italians eat on Halloween? fettucine afraid-o"