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Joke of the Day

"I buy my guns from a man named ""T-Rex"" He's a small arms dealer"

"I don't believe in Santa I guess you could say I'm a rebel without a Claus."

"I wish these two tailors would get on with their fight.... I wish these two tailors would get on with their fight. They've been sizing each other up for hours."

"NOBODY MOVE THIS IS A ROBBERY! *other robber looks over at me* dude no you can move. We talked about this. Get the money"

"What do you called a piano someone pissed in? A peeano."

"If you're 17 and your 200 year old lover won't turn you into a vampire so you can be together forever, he's just not that into you."

"Why are ska bands so clean? They always pick it up pick it up pick it up."

"Did you hear about the guy in the park dressed up as a duck? He was arrested for selling quack"

"What did the blonde say when she saw Cheerios? Donut seeds."

"What is a pedophiles favorite part of a hockey game??? Before the first period"