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Joke of the Day

"Men vs Women Women want a lot of things from one Man. Conversely, Men want one thing from a lot of Women."

"The last thing I remember was my Mom telling me to ""Take Care"". I did, and now Liam Neeson is chasing me."

"Q: Why the fireman was burried on the top of the hill? A: Because he was dead."

"Twitter is the government's elaborate plan to keep us all off the streets"

"A blind hooker tried to give me a BJ once she said I had the biggest penis ever. I said ""Ha, you're pulling my leg"""

"Will I have an open casket at my funeral? Remains to be seen."

"If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic."

"Why has Ten been flirting with Seven? Because she heard that Seven eight Nine's pussy."

"If I had a time machine, I'd go back in time to just before a famous person was supposed to be assassinated and borrow money from them."

"What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? -Makes a choking noise-"