14323

Joke of the Day

"Why are women so bad at parking? Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches look like their whole lives."

"What do you call a sexist masseuse? A massage-ynist."

"I was watching you while you slept. You look pretty stupid."

"People say I'm quite contrarian. But I disagree."

"At first I couldn't get used to all the plants in my living room... But I think I started growing into it."

"All I'm saying is no one ever country westerns you like a hurricane."

"Of course I'm English. I'm the retard convict cousin you shipped off to Australia back in the day."

"Sometimes I think I'm too picky. Then I watch my dog look for a place to poop."

"What did the fry cook do when he found out he was cooking burger patties made of feces? He flipped a shit."

"I want to do for the unibrow what Hitler did for the little moustache."