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Joke of the Day

"It's a dark stormy night. You're scared & alone. You hear a bump in the night. You jump! You scream! Then your cat comes in the house drunk."

Next Joke
 
"A man overdosed on Viagra... ...His wife took it hard."
"I've seen a LGBT activist publish phones and home addresses of homophobic straight people on the Internet. Needless to say, I found his approach somewhat heterodox."
"60% of African American girls agree to giving me a blowjob I guess you could call it a 3/5's compromise"
"Father Christmas: All right my good lady my face is my ticket. Box office attendant: Then you'd better watch out... there's a feller inside who has the job of punching the tickets."
"How does a girl in West Virginia know when her mama is on the rag? Her daddy's dick tastes funny"
"You are stuck in a room with Adolf Hitler and Donald Trump. You have a gun with 2 bullets in it, what do you do? *Shoot myself twice*"
"The celibate butcher is pretty successful in his occupations. Nothing beats his meat!"
"It's just a game but... last night Tom Brady was sacked more than milk and bread at the grocery store before a snow day"
"[i sweetly pet a wild baby deer in my lap] aww this is so boring"
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