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Joke of the Day

"What's the best thing about sleeping with twenty two year old's? There is twenty of them."

"Why is the Champs-Elysees lined with trees? So the Germans can march in the shade."

"Comas can really change the meaning of a sentence.. For example ""Ben is in a hurry."" ""Ben is in a coma."""

"Kids are like smoking cigarettes. I love them for about 5 minutes a day, until I realize that they are slowly killing me. Jim Jefferies"

"It only took three beers before I could tell my kid her Barbie Dream House is in foreclosure. She's such a lightweight."

"How much does Jesus love you? Thiiiiiiis much. (Must be said while arms are raised out to side)"

"Have you heard of the new model of the german microwave? It seats twelve"

"I told an ex of mine that i wished she was more punctual. So, from then on, she added !!!!!!! to every text. I have picked some winners."

"One of my friend told me that she got accepted at Dalhousie University... I told her to stay away from the dentistry students"

"What happens in Vegas stays on Facebook."