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Joke of the Day

"Have you heard of the new model of the german microwave? It seats twelve"

"Cop: Tell us what you know! Me: Penguins are monogamous creatures with noted cases of bisexuality Cop: *typing up his science report*"

"I was wondering why the night had to be this long... ...Then it dawned upon me."

"Why do elephants live in the jungle? Because it's out of the high rent district."

"So there was a fish swimming up stream and it runs into a wall... And it was like ""damn."""

"Restaurant owner warns his employee: ""one must open oysters carefully""... The employee answers: ""no shucking fit!"""

"To some, it's known as ""soda."" Some call it ""pop."" Some even order it as ""coke"" or ""cola."" The spicy bubble brown juice goes by many names"

"I hope Death is a woman.... That way it will never come for me."

"What do people in Arkansas do for Halloween? Pump kin."

"Pregnant women go through a ""nesting"" phase where they make a tree fort out of twigs and parts of men they've killed."