66172

Joke of the Day

"Don't you hate it when you don't know something and have no way of finding out? We need some kind of... global information network."

"Spent the last twenty minutes trying to get my sideburns even and now I'm sporting a mohawk."

"Did you guys hear about the circus fire? It was in tents."

"18: I'm going to ask the stylist what color screams parental issues. Me: ..."

"Cashier: Hello Me: Is it me your looking for... I can see it in your eyes.. Cashier:... Me: Sorry, this is my first rap battle."

"LPT: Always know what subreddit you are posting in"

"Ever since I became blind I never looked back... Or forward, or right, or left."

"It's a sad day when you watch National Geographic and realize oysters have a better sex life than you."

"Why did the black man cross the road? Better question is what the FUCK is he doing outside of the cotton field!?"

"Oddly enough, when ducks take pictures of themselves, they make the drunk sorority girl face."