76629

Joke of the Day

"Spent the last twenty minutes trying to get my sideburns even and now I'm sporting a mohawk."

"I used to be terrified of my dentist. He wasn't rough with my teeth or anything, he was just a paedophile."

"My roommate said I might be schizophrenic. But what does he know I don't even have a roommate."

"A man walks into a restaurant and asks, ""You got any spare ribs?"" The owner says, ""Nope. I need all of mine."""

"Your mother's vagina"

"What does a bee get at McDonalds ? A humburger !"

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean"

"Studies have shown... (NSFW) 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape."

"What do you call it when Batman leaves church early? Christian Bale"

"Guy: girl are you a newspaper? Girl: no why? Guy: because there's a new issue with you every fucking day."