76629

Joke of the Day

"Spent the last twenty minutes trying to get my sideburns even and now I'm sporting a mohawk."

"What did a chemist say to a deaf guy? Does it matter?"

"Dick van Dyke's surgery Welcome to Dick van Dyke's surgery! I'm afraid it's bad news. You've got supercalifragilisticextreme-halitosis."

"Speed Dating Tell me something about yourself I have 3 cats What do u do for fun I have 3 cats What are you most proud about I have 3 Next"

"You know what's the saddest part of North Korea getting hacked? It won't get to see this."

"I love my toilet. We've been through a lot of crap together."

"What did the Ethiopian Government say when the United States sent over 1 million condoms to promote safe sex? Thanks for the sleeping bags"

"What do you call it when a Republican Presidential Candidate throws a hissy fit when he doesn't get what he wants? A Tantrump."

"I have a bumper sticker that says ""Honk if you think I'm sexy."" Then I just wait at green lights until I feel better about myself."

"How do you reward a chicken journalist? With a poulette surprise!"