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Joke of the Day

"A talented artist sculpts a dog out of melons. After it looks perfect, he takes a picture of it, then starts eating it. He is suddenly very sad. He was full of *melon-collie*."

"My husband told me I had to choose between him and the cats. I miss him sometimes."

"Why is ISIS like Little Miss Muffet? They both have Kurds in their way."

"a white girl drowned today when her anchor tattoo pulled her to the bottom, sadly her infinity tattoo didnt mean she'd live forever"

"Chipotle Haiku This chipotle is having a poetry contest for some reason. Here's my haiku: Eating chipotle. They messed up my order... Again I will die alone"

"Be that Shopping Cart with the bad wheel. Go in your own direction no matter how hard someone try's to push you in theirs."

"I don't understand why it's called a Chastity Belt. Everyone I know named Chastity is a stripper."

"Proof that upside-down and/or opposites world and/or country exists! Every joke, irrespective of the degree of hilarity, will get down votes! XD"

"They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks... But I didn't even try and mine's been playing dead for an hour!"

"Jumping on a trampoline naked is an awesome way to see the past, present and future of your body."