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Joke of the Day

"Electric Trains Q: What do electric trains and boobs have in common? A: They're both meant for small children, but it's the grown men that end up playing with them."

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"""A pirate with no p... is irate!"" Friday is International talk Like a Pirate Day!"
"Your first mistake was wearing heels in this dodgeball tournament, Jason. The second was thinking that they went with that dress."
"Q: When is Santa's birthday? A: Since Santa comes once a year and he's married, Santa's birthday is December 25th"
"For a tiny person unable to wipe herself after she poops, my toddler has managed to hit me dead in the eyeball with 4 things today."
"The weather in England is like the Muslims in Iraq. It's either Sunni, or Shiite."
"What's a catalyst? It's how a farmer keeps track of his cows."
"What is it called when a ninja flees the scene of an accident? Hidden Run."
"Matthew McConaughey set to guest edit Breibart news next week Alt-Right Alt-Right Alt-Right"
"Why is Islam called the Religion of Peace? It will leave you in pieces."