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Joke of the Day

"Chipotle Haiku This chipotle is having a poetry contest for some reason. Here's my haiku: Eating chipotle. They messed up my order... Again I will die alone"

"During my prostate exam I asked the doctor, ""where should I put my Pants""?... ""Over there by mine"", was not the answer I was expecting."

"""Once you go on the grass it is really hard to get out of it"". - my six year old nephew while playing NFS. I was like i know exactly what you are talking about!! ;)"

"ISIS Awards Night The 2016 best suicide bomber award goes to Mohammed. Unfortunately Mohammed can't be with us tonight."

"Sometimes I just want to slap the stupid out of people, but I'm worried it'd take up my entire day"

"No Microsoft, I don't want to Send an Error Report. Snitches get stitches."

"Always Pay Attention! After my Prostate Exam, the Doctor left. Then the Nurse came in. As she shut the door, she whispered the three words that no man wants to hear: ""Who was that?"""

"Ever have sex while camping? It's intents"

"What's the difference between a sigh a car and a monkey? A sigh is oh dear. A car is too dear. A monkey is you dear."

"Why can't witches get pregnant? Because all their husbands have Halloween-ies!"