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Joke of the Day
"""If you text me, I'll call you back just cuz it's more efficient."" - a monster"
Next Joke
"What did the left bum check say to the right bum check? He said ""If we stick together, we can stop this shit."""
"I've always been really bad at telling jokes. I always manage to fuck up the punchline."
"Him: What are you doing? Me: Tweeting. Him: Gah. Such a colossal waste of time. Me: *stare* Him: *goes back to playing Candy Crush*"
"If you have a donkey and I have a rooster, and your donkey bites off my roosters feet. What do you have? 2 feet of my cock in your ass"
"What do you call a booger that you've been squishing for awhile? Boograr"
"If I find myself at Paula Deen's house, I'll be sure to stay out of the kitchen. There's an oven in there. Jews in Stews #paulasbestdishes"
"What do you have when you have 1000 whites skydiving? Oil"
"I'm a religious man living in Colorado, and I'm starting a marijuana business. I'm calling it Holy Smokes."
"What did one pile of burning wood say to the other? Is it getting hot in here or is it just me?"