43522

Joke of the Day

"I'm a religious man living in Colorado, and I'm starting a marijuana business. I'm calling it Holy Smokes."

"I should get a bigger tax return According to Digiorno's I'm a family of four."

"I only date black girls... because I hate meeting fathers."

"My boyfriend said he had a Catwoman fantasy. I must have misunderstood because we both wore leather cat suits to bed last night. Awkward."

"[At a 5 star restaurant] *gestures at entire menu* Are any of these words fancy speak for chicken fingers and fries?"

"what do you call an acid with an attitude? A-mean-oh acid"

"A woman gets a C section What does the doctor say to the woman who has to get a c section? There's not enough womb!"

"There were elections in the United States. Tom Hanks went to cast his vote. As soon as he came out of the polling booth after doing so, everyone started applauding. Why? It was a vote of T. Hanks."

"I have a bunch of sheep puns....... But they're, pretty Baa^aaaaa^aaaaa^aad."

"as a kid, I used to think $1,000 was a lot of money. But now that I'm an adult, I think it's a tremendous amount of money"