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Joke of the Day

"If I find myself at Paula Deen's house, I'll be sure to stay out of the kitchen. There's an oven in there. Jews in Stews #paulasbestdishes"

"Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, ""Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here."" Helium doesn't react."

"*eats a bag of chips* *eats 2 baked potatoes* *eats a plate of fries* *eats a plate of mashed potatoes* Being a vegetarian is easy!"

"What's the difference between golf and sky-diving? In golf, it's ""*whack*... Fuck!"" And in sky-diving, it's ""Fuck!... *whack*""."

"Hits rock bottom. *adds Geologist to resume"

"A gymnast walks into a bar... He gets a two-point deduction and ruins his chance of a medal."

"My mom made some french fries for you guys... but you were dicks about it because they were potato quality."

"Mike Pence has a strong resume, including Governor of Indiana and Shawshank Prison Guard. #VPDebate"

"Did you hear about the guy who brought a ladder to the bar? He heard beer was on the house"

"What do you feed an invisible cat? Evaporated milk."