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Joke of the Day

"What did one pile of burning wood say to the other? Is it getting hot in here or is it just me?"

"Did you hear about the Roman who had his wife for dinner? He was gladiator..."

"Just like to give a shout out to the guy who plays triangle in our orchestra. Thanks for every ting."

"I was having a nightmare where a dude said he was going to kill me if I could not make him laugh... so I said... What gas leaves a pirate speechless? . . . Argon"

"Why did the human cross the road? Because his dick was stuck in the chicken."

"So a 14 year old girl goes to the doctor for a checkup... He puts the stethoscope up to her heart and says, ""Big breaths."" And she says, ""Thankth! I grew them mythelf!"""

"I went to the Zoo the other day, but all it had was one dog. It was a shitzu."

"My husband really loves our new couch. In fact, he loves it so much he called me his exwife's name just so he could sleep on it."

"After 8 years Americans prove the rumor to be false. They went black and now they are going back."

"What is black and white and red and brown and silver and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a harpoon through her head."