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Joke of the Day

"My wife wanted something that went from 0 to 200 in a few seconds for christmas So I bought her a nice sports car."

"I like my coffee like I like my slaves. Free."

"What will Ryan Lochte say if he looses ""Dancing With the Stars""? ""I was robbed"" Sorry, that just came to me like a stroke of idiotic genius and I couldn't help myself."

"What does PETA stand for? People Eating Tasty Animals"

"The woman who first decided that tights are pants should get the Nobel Peace Prize."

"Why do fish swim in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze"

"My Vietnamese roommate is moving to Vegas (giving me a place to crash in Vegas), and leaving behind a full bedroom set for free... This is a real Nguyen-Nguyen situation for me."

"Poor Pascal... he gets no girls at all... but at least his name is the SI derived unit of pressure used to quantify internal pressure, stress, ... Coincidence?"

"I love 80s Rock It always makes me Bon Jovial"

"Don't you just hate it when you BP red wine on a white tablecloth? [New verb. Make it so.]"