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Joke of the Day

"I just held the door open for an Asian guy. He said, ""Sank you,"" so I punched him in the face. I can't believe he brought up Pearl Harbor like that."

"Why is Toblerone shaped like a triangle? To fit in the box."

"If McDonalds sold hot dogs would you be able to (w/ a straight face) order a McWeiner and tell them to supersize it?"

"""I can't wait to move back to Mexico."" -No Juan, ever"

"We just hired an ex-con, who was in for tax evasion, to do our landscaping And I must say he is terrific at cutting the corners."

"Did I tell you I bought a sports car? It wasn't very good though, I beat it in every sport I played against it"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Baby Owl ! Baby Owl who ? Baby Owl see you later maybe I won't !"

"What does the earth eat for breakfast? Continental breakfast, served on tectonic plates."

"*spends 4 hours applying sunscreen to kids *kids play outside for 7 minutes"

"What do you call a chameleon that doesn't change color? A reptile dysfunction."