226370

Joke of the Day

"What does the earth eat for breakfast? Continental breakfast, served on tectonic plates."

"It's actually pretty impressive how many poor decisions I can fit in a day."

"What is the easiest way to get chewing gum out of your hair? Cancer."

"I'll never forget my grandfather's last words.. ""Stop shaking the ladder you little shit"""

"I have daily sex Sorry, I mean, dyslexia."

"I want my headstone to read ""loving wife, evil dictator""."

"If you don't like the way I drive then get off the hood of my car."

"Q: What is the smartest thing that can come out of a blonde's mouth? A: Einstein's dick."

"""The last ''Sup?'"" - cool Bible"

"Why would you pay $80 for a bra at Victoria's Secret when I can hold your boobs up all day for free."