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Joke of the Day

"They've discovered King Kong was indeed heterosexual... ...it was booty that killed the beast."

"What does a pirate's beard feel like? Corsair. (works better in a pirate accent)"

"Duck. A duck walks into a bar. The barman asks ""What will it be?"" The duck doesn't answer because he's a duck."

"What do you call it when a black guy gets a hard on? The Dark Knight Rises"

"I was wondering when the sun would come up... and then it dawned on me."

"Rabbits... Rabbits bang like there's no fucking tomorrow."

"Don't ever look away from a police officer. Just stare him down. You don't wanna look suspicious."

"Doctor these pills you gave me for BO... What's wrong with them? They keep slipping out from under my arms!"

"TIL there is a nerve that runs from the tear duct to the anus. If you don't believe me, let me pull a hair from your ass and see if it doesn't bring a tear to your eye."

"What did the Mancunian abortion doctor say to the fetus? ""Don't look back in hanger"""