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Joke of the Day

"TIL there is a nerve that runs from the tear duct to the anus. If you don't believe me, let me pull a hair from your ass and see if it doesn't bring a tear to your eye."

"On Reddit, they say that you should never stick your dick in crazy. But this is not true. The problems only start when you take your dick *out* of crazy."

"Me: How many times are you going to lick my nose in your lifetime? Dog: "

"When you're trying to be cheesy But everyone around you is lactose intolerant"

"Disney's Aladdin taught me that as long as you have a foundation of lies, actual magic, and one of you is rich, a relationship can work."

"Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was intense"

"Teens are leaving FB for Twitter & Instagram to escape parents. Silly rabbits, we were here first."

"There are three types of people in this world.. Those who can count and those who can't"

"LPT: If you don't have a SO, pray to God every night and see if that works. If not... try Satan."

"My wife wants to have a kid... I bought her a goldfish and told her to wait a few million years."