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Joke of the Day

"I've survived 23 years by pretending to be smarter than I am. I tell people I excel in Academia but I can't even point Academia out on a map"

"Trump is such a good businessman that he literally wrote the book on business! Everyone should read it! Its too bad that it only goes up to chapter 11 though..."

"What's 7 inches and makes women submissive? A knife."

"Life is like a penis. Simple, relaxed and hanging around freely. It's women who make it hard."

"What is brown all around and looks good on a motorcyclist? A coffin."

"I'm not an alpha male I'm a male"

"What does my girlfriend and Windows 8 have in common? they are both 8........"

"Son: Are you going anywhere Dad? Dad: No, I'm going to Romania."

"I guess Tom Hiddleston and Taylor Swift couldn't keep their relationship... Loki."

"The lady helping my wife design a dining room table handed me a note reading ""blink if you're being held against your will"""