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Joke of the Day

"Church is one of the few places you get on your knees BEFORE a guy gives you wine."

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? a carrot..."

"""And that's the last time I ever pet a lion"", said Tom, offhandedly."

"You know homeless people are the real progressives of this country. Always asking for change."

"Why did the peasant have poor judgement? He couldn't afford better judgement I'll be here all day folks"

"If you woke up in the woods with a condom in your ass and no recollection of the night before, would you report it? No? Wanna go camping?"

"I just burned 2000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven when I take a nap."

"The Size of my Penis is Very Private It's information that should be kept between me, my doctor, and his wife."

"Pamela Anderson What do you call the space between Pamela Anderson's breasts? Answer: Silicon Valley. Just heard this one today and wanted to share. Don't know if this is gonna be a repost."

"What did one German baker say to the other? Glutentag!"