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Joke of the Day

"What does a man with a 9 inch penis eat for breakfast? Well, Right now I'm frying up some eggs, got some toast in the toaster and the coffees brewing."

"In an alternate universe, the President... is given an attache and told not to press the button inside beyond the most dire circumstances. Instructions nuclear."

"Cat with 16 lives There was a cat with 16 lives. It was run over by a 4x4 and it died."

"Just came up with.. Q: How do pirates like their jigsaws? A: In pieces of eight."

"What do you call an intense love of math? Calculust."

"Anyone know the title of Steven Tyler's new cook book? Wok this way."

"ME: want anything for breakfast? BOSS: just banana [struggling to hold office door shut] ANA: let me in! ME: sorry boss said to ban you"

"what jerk ever looked at a hamburger and thought ""you know what this needs? A nice, soft, warm piece of lettuce."""

"Oh yeah? Well if I'm so gay like you say, then why do I have to think about my wife when I have sex with dudes, hmmm?"

"Some say the quickest way to mans heart is food. As an experienced heart surgeon, I disagree... It's sex."