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Joke of the Day

"I got a new job working in an underwear factory I'll be pulling down 800 a week"

"What do you call a grandpa who couldn't understand why his email wanted to upload his attachment to share it? An old man yelling at the cloud"

"Doctor doctor I keep dreaming there are great gooey bug-eyed monsters playing tiddley winks under my bed. What shall I do? Hide the tiddley winks."

"HER [sits seductively on my lap] The more you tip...the more I'll take off ME [reaches for wallet] This is such a weird way to cut hair"

"What do you call a yak that wants to talk to you about a network marketing opportunity? A cognac"

"on star trek every time they beam down to a new planet they get their tricorders out to find somewhere to go on yelp"

"Dinner-$25 Margarita-$8 Girls night out-$33 Yelling ""Hey Sl@t"" and watching 12 different girls turn around- Priceless"

"""Your mission... Should you chose to accept it..."" *Go to a bar you Hate *Put $50 in the Jukebox *Play nothing but Nickelback *Leave"

"Breaking News!: Two teens cut cocks off while high on meth. Back in my day we did not need meth. We would just cut our cocks off."

"Sorry I called the police when I saw you running, I didn't know you did that for fun."