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Joke of the Day

"Dear Satan, God never healed my dyslexia so I'm looking for new religion. Please send some pamphlets. And tell Rudolph hey. Love, Me"

"Did you hear? They found a new use for sheep in texas. Wool."

"I've come from the future to let you know the Chilean miners will be OK, and that we haven't yet perfected time travel."

"Whoever called it a ""dust bunny"" was in a super good mood."

"My wife is like a treasure You'll need an accurate map and a fucking shovel to find her."

"As a Californian, the most frightening thing about the movie Psycho, is the thought of leaving the shower water running for that long."

"When kids don't want to take a nap, can they be charged with resisting a rest?"

"Mosquitoes are whores. They suck on everyone who goes near them."

"The female praying mantis... knows how to get ahead in life."

"What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's brown and runny? Usain Bolt."