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Joke of the Day

"As a Californian, the most frightening thing about the movie Psycho, is the thought of leaving the shower water running for that long."

"What did the necrophile say to his ex-girlfriend? ""I only loved you for your body!"""

"WOMAN: Is anyone here a doctor?! MAN: I sure am! And I think I can. Save that man. Like eggs & ham. W: Shutup Seuss! I meant a real doctor."

"Who are the fastest readers in the world? 9/11 victims. They go through 50 stories in just a few seconds."

"What's the difference between Stanley Yelnats and the rest of the kids in Holes? He was just a nerdy digger."

"Where do you keep microscopic criminals? In cells."

"Beauty and the Beast (1991): A woman develops Stockholm Syndrome, emotionally bonding with her captor at castle furnished with singing decor"

"Glad marijuana is being legalized. It sure helps coping with the election results."

"The guy who invented Twister died this week. Fitting him into the coffin took 27 spins."

"What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The wheelchair"