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Joke of the Day

"How is evolution and a Union construction job similar? They take so long that some people don't believe they don't work."

"Why do Canadians like number systems greater than Base-10? Because 7 8 9, A?"

"Someday, when I'm really old, I hope I can sit my grandchildren around my rocking chair and text them pearls of wisdom."

"Two balloons are floating across the desert One balloon says to the other, Look out for the cactussssssssssssssssssss!"

"A man sued an airline for misplacing his luggage. He unfortunately lost his case."

"Sperm can live inside a woman for like 2 weeks. Nine months if things go really wrong."

"Did you hear about the guy who got chilled to absolute zero? Hes 0K now."

"Documentaries not only expand my world views, but also compel me to change my behavior for a solid 24-36 hours."

"I don't get you Vegans. If cows didn't want to be eaten, they'd move faster."

"What the hell is almond milk? Almonds don't have titties"