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Joke of the Day

"My wife said she was feeling Light-Headed from a Low Iron Level... So to help her, I raised the Ironing Board to a more Suitable Height..."

"Dads are like boomerangs.... I hope. Edit: Guys I'm so confused, wtf is going on"

"Been throwing away this piece of tape for the last 17 hours"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Alf ! Alf who ? Alf all if you don't catch me!"

"How do you cure a nymphomaniac? Marry her."

"Sometimes I squat on the floor and put my arms around my knees and lean forward Cuz that's how I roll.."

"I drink, therefore I am.... Drunk."

"Did you hear about the NFL player who went to prison? He went in a tight end and came out a wide receiver."

"I woke up moody, fat and depressed and thought have I turned into a woman?? Then I realized I'm just a little hungover and need some coffee. Whew!!"

"Why isn't Luke on the poster for The Force Awakens? He's a bit Shywalker. I'm so, so sorry everyone."