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Joke of the Day

"Why isn't Luke on the poster for The Force Awakens? He's a bit Shywalker. I'm so, so sorry everyone."

"I just got back from my friend's funeral. He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball... It was a lovely service."

"Just noticed that the use by date on my crumpets was April 1st I was sure that someone was playing a joke on me."

"What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup? You can mash potatoes, but you can't pee soup. (sorry sorry. Really. I've loved this joke since I was... oh.. six...)"

"The Japanese believe the color of a person's aura changes to cyan before they die. Cyan-Aura"

"What makes the scarecrow so good at his job? He's outstanding in his field"

"What do you get when you cross a cat and a wild boar? Revocation of your grant money and a stern rebuke from the ethics committee."

"What happens when you put Root Beer in a Square Glass? It just becomes beer"

"Long arm of the law Will have different meaning when Trump becomes president"

"Whats the difference between a wank and an egg? You can beat an egg."