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Joke of the Day

"Oh Subway You got busted lying about how big it is, no worries we've been doing that for years. Sincerely; Guys"

"No, please continue to talk loudly on the phone, smoke & spit next to my table. No problem! I'm just going to follow you home and kill you."

"A girlfriend of mine was a psychic ... we broke up before we met."

"Ok so for next Halloween ill be mozart. ""I'll be beethoven!"" Yeah okay, calm down sally. So Mr. Terminator who will you be? ""I'LL BE BACH."""

"Who wins in a race to San Francisco, the lesbian couple or the gay couple? The lesbians. They get there lickity split while the gays are still packin it in!"

"What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph, because he is too short to be an essay!"

"Want to hear a joke? Women's sports"

"me: maybe those nazi salutes... we're just them reaching for the stars... McDonald's manager: this is the fastest I've ever fired someone"

"""Nazis!"" - the History Channel"

"Hey chicks that only post inspirational shit: we know you're nuts."