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Joke of the Day

"me: maybe those nazi salutes... we're just them reaching for the stars... McDonald's manager: this is the fastest I've ever fired someone"

"Q: Why are cows always broke? A: The farmers milk them dry."

"I'd like to think that halfway through Nicole Kidman's last name there's a tiny bar mitzvah."

"Some people have 32 teeth while others have 10... It's simple meth."

"Boss: John, tell me your greatest weakness Me: Honesty B: I don't think that's a weakness M: I don't give a shit what you think."

"How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts? He doesn't, he's dead!"

"I told my paralyzed girlfriend I was leaving her... She couldn't stand to see me go..."

"Don't you hate it when your girlfriend yells out a different name during sex Like bitch, my name isn't ""someone help"""

"Went out for a few drinks with some hedgehogs last night... I got spiked"

"A stupid glazier was examining a broken window. He looked at it for a while and then said ""It's worse than I thought. It's broken on both sides."""