6546

Joke of the Day

"Protip: Never take your wife with you to your annual checkup. She will tell the doctor way too much about you."

"What does the Alt-Right drink? White whine."

"I was sucking off my new Thai bride, last night When I thought.. ""Hang on a fuckin' minute"""

"What did the rude prism say to the beam of light that smacked into him? Get bent!"

"Who is a Brooklyn dog's favorite composer? Bach Bach Bach"

"My wife always freaks out when she's on her period Keep having to tell her to stop ovary acting."

"I think the doctors told me my blood type was A... but I'm not positive."

"So I asked my dad... So I asked my dad during Christmas dinner if anything were home made? He replied ""definitely not you."""

"[work email] Me: Can I meat the new guy? Boss: Meet? Okay, sure... Me: Great! *hides bag of steaks*"

"A woman said to me, ""Has anyone ever told you that you look like Brad Pitt?"" I said, ""No, nobody."" She said, ""They've clearly never seen The Curious Case of Benjamin Button."""