190184

Joke of the Day

"Playing play doh w/ 3 is just her ordering me to ""make elephant! Now teapot!"" As if I have the artistic ability to create more than a ball."

"A joke from a substitute German teacher (who was later fired) What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy? -Refrigerator doesn't fart when you take the meat out of it."

"Two peanuts are walking down the street. One was... ...raped and sodomized."

"""My name will live forever!"" - Anonymous."

"My ""friend"" Adam gave me an electric toothbrush for my birthday. Completely unnecessary. My gas-powered toothbrush still runs fine, ""Adam."""

"Q: Why don't Deputy Fire Marshals look out the window in the morning? A: So they have something to do in the afternoon."

"Doctor: Are you on any antidepressants? Me: You mean like nachos? Yes."

"How do you know which tree is the jew? It doesn't drop apples."

"What did the Boston Marathon bombers do that Hitler couldn't? successfully end a race."

"Just finished reading a book about Stockholm syndrome. It was pretty bad at the start but by the end I liked it."