654

Joke of the Day

"Opinions are like Assholes... Everyone has one, and some just taste better than others."

"A man went in to the bank and asked to see the man who arranged the loans. 'I'm sorry sir' said a cashier 'the loan arranger is out to lunch.' 'Can I speak to Tonto then?' asked the man."

"Other parents do back-to-school pics of kids holding signs w/ their grade on it & mine are just a series of selfies w/ me & the bus driver."

"Harambre the Gorilla hasn't had much luck After getting shot on Earth, Harambre got mauled by Cecil the Lion"

"The Bangles are getting their own cooking show. Wok Like an Egyptian"

"What's yellow and lives off dead beetles? Yoko Ono."

"A little girl asked her father ""Daddy? Do all Fairy Tales begin with Once Upon A Time?"" And he replied ""No there is a whole series of Fairy Tales that begin with 'If Elected I promise...'"""

"Potatoes are just poor defenseless vodka fetuses. Remeber that the next time you eat a french fry or hash browns, you monsters."

"What's the difference between a praying nun and a girl taking a bath? One has hope in her soul and the other has soap in her hole"

"How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? Seriously, I gotta figure out how many slaves I need to buy"