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Joke of the Day
"Opinions are like Assholes... Everyone has one, and some just taste better than others."
Next Joke
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bison ! Bison who ? Bison girl scout cookies !"
"Not all of the weird sexual stuff you hear about is as good as it's cracked up to be... I mean you can tell me how great autoerotic asphyxiation is till you're blue in the face."
"Don't blindfold an Asian with a shoe lace. That's lacist."
"I asked my wife to dress up as a nurse tonight... to fulfill my fantasy... that we have health insurance."
"If Bill Cosby and Gwyneth Paltrow hooked up... ...it would be an unconscious coupling."
"90% of life is just having the courage to show up. The other 30% is just checking the math."
"I hate when people text me ""what are you doing?"" at 1:00 pm on a weekday. Well I don't have your Art History degree, so probably ""working""."
"What is brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre"
"It's all fun and games until HR sends an email with ""Your Twitter Account"" in the subject line."