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Joke of the Day

"A little girl asked her father ""Daddy? Do all Fairy Tales begin with Once Upon A Time?"" And he replied ""No there is a whole series of Fairy Tales that begin with 'If Elected I promise...'"""

"What's the difference between the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Harriet Tubman?! Harriet Tubman was a heroine to the slaves, but the Red Hot Chili Peppers were slaves to heroin."

"My best friend told me that he had super powers... ... I told him to suck his own dick."

"A Cobra wanted to fight me but I challenged him to a thumb war and he slitthered away embarrassed."

"If the dove is the bird of peace, what's the bird of true love? The swallow."

"What's a Hater, Homophobe, Racist, Bigot, and Sexist? Any conservative winning an argument with a liberal, Democrat or 'progressive'."

"What's the difference between a Baptist and a Methodist? A Methodist will say hi when he sees you at the liquor store."

"Her: You know, alot of men are going to be miserable when I marry. Me: Well how many men do you plan to marry?"

"I named my hard drive ""dat ass""... Once a month, my computer asks if I want to 'back dat ass up'."

"Writing Tip: Learn the letters. YES all of them. Regardless of what you write they'll come in handy. Try experimenting w/ diff combinations."